Journeys - Christmas and otherwise...

Well Happy New Year all! I hope that all of your Christmas and holiday celebrating was filled with much love and joy! Now that I'm back to the daily novitiate schedule in California, I'm thinking that my Christmas journey durign the break felt like an outward journey or all the inward journeying that novitiate is supposed to be about. Maybe it's even the journey that Mary and Joseph would have experienced, all the traveling around and business of not being settled.

Before my last post, I was thinking about this blog and really wondering where to go with it, I didn't know who was reading it and how many. Since I've been back to the center at Nazareth. Holy Moses! I realize I can't stop now! It was great to hear in person how many people are following me around and really accompanying me on this journey. I know that there are people at the Nazareth center that print off these writing for all of the sisters, to you I've very grateful that you can be the legs and hands that allows non-computer sisters to read this! And to all the readers, thank you for your support through thoughts, prayers, and just plain reading! I had to laugh when I went to the computers on 4th floor and when the screen awakened, I saw an icon with "CSJNamaste" on it that would lead a sister right to my blog. Just a little heart warming moment! I am grateful to all of you!

Christmas felt like an amazing and long road trip around the country of places that I call home. The break was three weeks long but it seemed that the energy level that I needed for the break was about 6 months worth. I got to see a ton of sisters, some in groups, some individually and it just amazed me how available people were for the limited amount of time I had. I was able to share more of my internal processes with a lot of people that haven't been able to be in contact with me and it was just good to share the stories of what insights both life and God gift you with when you have the priviledge of having time away which this program in California does. God is truly alive in prayer, people (whether I know them or whether I just catch a glimpse of them on the sidewalk), in community, in family (though I'm not able to be close to them not, and most of all in myself. It's hard sometimes to know all the changes that are happening in myself and not have words to express that. It's only through some stories that I'm shared with people that can express the difference/ the changes in me. God is just so big right now and I never want that to leave. I suppose that's one thing that I hope to settle in this semester: I want the largeness of God to fill me, my perspectives and my heart, that I will forever be changed. I think it's possible. I hope that the settling leads me to a place that is more unitive than selfish and more loving than ever ignorant or blinded again. I also think that these changes inside which have a hard time being outwardly expressed makes it hard for people to really realize that a change has happened within myself. The people that I'm closest to, I'm not really sure that they know me anymore. I have to be okay with that, knowing that God's work with me isn't completed yet and hope that everyone can just walk with me where I'm at, loving me through it, and appreciating the positive aspects of this journey with me. At this point, I don't even know what to expect from myself these days, (I can't expect anyone else to). I'm on God's potter's wheel and just waiting patiently for an inkling of where to go or what to do next because I know only God has that knowledge.

When I got back to the Chicago house, my novitiate house, I decided that whatever was in that room, I really didn't need (except winter clothes) because I've been living without it since August. So I went through everything: books, cds, clothes, bedding, shoes, etc. It was good just to reorganize things, make my room my own and pack up boxes. I'm hoping to do more of that when I get back in May but it felt good just to clean out. I also had to do that even before I unpacked my suitcase as there wasn't a space of any of its contents! Charlene and I had some bonding time in Chicago the first week though since Kathy had meeting all week and Tess was staying at the motherhouse. Charlene and I didn't have much time to be together when I moved in because he job has her traveling a lot. We had time to decorate and cook together and just be together and get to know each other a bit more. For me, it was just a good quiet re-entering into the chaotic that Christmas time can usually be about. Oh by the way, Charlene just had an article about vocation in the America magazine. I think it's still the latest issue, if not, it's the one just previous. Check it out, her name's on the front (article inside :) Charlene Diorka! We were all proud of her!

Time at home home (Detroit/Sterling Heights)was great. I spent a good deal of that week with my family. I got to see my parents first of all and was greeted with a big ol' hug from mom (and quite few tears) and next one from dad. They even had a welcome home sign on the door with Santa on it for me. They're just too cute! Christmas Eve was time for church and Chinese food. It's a tradition with us. Then onto my cousin's house Christmas day and then to my brother's house to open immediate family presents. It was the first time that I got to see Jen pregant and the baby's room which was almost finished, minus furniture. Jeff was all proud showing me the clothes they already have for the baby including a little outfit that says "Police Academy" on it since his dad is a policeman and numerous Michigan State clothes since both parents went there. I think the most emotional part of the break was when we were there at my brother's house and the last gift of the evening was from "Aunt Jenn" (which I had a hard time writing for the first time) to "Little Graus Man". It was a book called "One the Day You were Born". Jen opened it and say that there was a letter inside. She started to read it and couldn't get through the first sentence. Jeff refused, my mom didn't think she could do it so only my dad was left. He read the note that I wrote to the baby which apologized for the fact that I can't welcome him into the world at the end of February but I had this book which I want to be a tradition between the two of us that I'll read it to him on his birthday every year until he can read it to himself. I told him that this year, I needed a fill in and I hoped that it would be grandma. Toward the end of the letter I said, "I promise to read a copy of this book the day that I get the phone call that you've arrived. I'll be with you in Spirit and hold you in my heart until I can hold you in my arms in May." All during this, my dad is reading while the song "Silent Night" is playing and all of us are in tears but it was a good family moment and I hope they understand how much I wish I could be there. Jen is on bed rest until the baby is born, I know it's all going to be okay but I'm just keeping her and close in my heart these last maybe 6 weeks.

My time in Michigan was short but I did spend time with Marie B, Jeanne and Joyce De. It was so good to be with them, Jeanne especially. We have a different mode of share now because we're both away from home and it feels good just to share with someone that's experiencing some of the same things.

There was lots of traveling, lots of energy needed and expended and even more love the was really felt in a short amount of time! I think that boost gives me a good jump start to this next semester.

We got back a week ago on the 3rd and on the 4th, Millie was out her to Orange with Lynn and JoAnn that live out here in California. I hadn't ever met them before but I was glad that I got to see Millie and that her being out her helped me to meet our own. Bernie took them for a tour and then Ann and I joined them for brunch. Picture below.


This week we had Barbara Baer from Wichita with us. She shared a very condensed version of what she would do in Bearers of the Tradition. It just amazes me all the year that she has crammed in her mind but the knowledge and all the stories with our CSSJ history was very inspiring and there are many ties that I found of how we're repeating some history with the journey that our new community is taking.

Anyway, this is getting excruciatingly long. I'll end here and just let you enjoy the pictures of my trek from Orange to Chicago to Nazareth to Chicago to Detroit/Sterling Heights to Nazareth to Chicago and back to Orange again :) Enjoy!

The Sun is Setting on First Semester

At this time next week I'll be in Chicago adjusting to the HUGE climate change.

I realize that it's been quite a while since I last updated and a few sisters have reminded me that I left you all hanging... wondering if my immediate surroundings had been charred. That answer is NOPE :) *I'm still standin'* The fires did get close and that smoke and ash was around for quite a while. I realized that in the Midwest, we love the wind to relieve us from the humidity. Around here, the lack of humidity dries everything out and the smallest spark from a cigarette out the window or whatever ignites hundreds of acres. Wind is the enemy around here and even though my hair dislikes humidity, I found that I can probably put up with it if it helps prevent the spread of fire and devastation.

Since last time, a lot of end of the semester things have been happening. Each novice had the task of writing a mid-year assessment which included topics like my relationship with: Self, God/Prayer, Community, Congregation, Ministry, Classes, Vows, Balance, and Director. Our director, whether it is Ann or Bernie here, also wrote an assessment of us on those topics and we discussed each of them yesterday. It was really in-depth and time consuming but at the same time it requires you to be reflective on all the areas of life and realize what might need a bit of tweeking for the future.

Our home directors and Kathy McCluskey, the federation director, will all be arriving on Sunday. So from Sunday-Wednesday, we'll be sharing reflections and prayer with them about the last few months. All together there will be 18 of us. At the beginning of next week as well, we each meet with our home director and our director here together in order to talk about the assessment that I wrote about above. Lots of sharing, lots of energy needed but it will be fun to have some new faces and different people around as well. Kathy and I will be flying back to Chicago together on Wednesday afternoon.

I'm looking forward to a break, I wish it could continue to be in warmer weather but oh well! I'm looking forward to seeing some people in Chicago and sleeping in my own bedroom, taking a nap in my own bed and cuddling up on the couch because it's cold! I'll be able to visit family and the sisters in the Detroit area when I'm there between December 22-28. I know that my mom and dad are looking forward to me coming home. In fact, I just got a cute card from my mom today talking about how they're "impatiently waiting" :) I hope I can have time with the sisters and friends that I know around there as well. I know it's a busy time for everyone and being that I'm only going to be there a few days, it might be hard to squeeze everything in but I'm hoping it happens! There's a lot to do in a little time but God will provide every experience I need... maybe even the time to gather enough information while I'm home for my CSJ history presentation that's due in February!

Also since I last checked in with you, we celebrated Lynn's unbirthday. We decided when we got here that even if your birthday wasn't between August-May, that we were going to celebrate it anyway and November 23 was Lynn's day! We went to Balboa beach (which currently ranks #3 on my Top 4 list (which will hopefully be Top Ten in May)). We had a hamburger picnic, used the swings, played in the water, and watched the sunset before coming home to Thuy's first chocolate cake ever. Pictures are below:


We also spend Wednesday night - Sunday afternoon last week at the beach house that the Orange sisters own on Seal Beach. It was a very nice weekend being that close to the water and taking it all in before starting to pack for home. It was very relaxed and we all participated in the making on Thanksgiving dinner. Karen got elected to make the Turkey since she'd taken a class on it. Who woulda thunk? Glad someone was willing AND able! SO we relaxed, finished papers, walked, toured the town and just had fun.

I hope to get back to all of you before returning to Chicago on Wednesday... but no promises!
Happy Advent!!!

Wild Fires

All over the news today is the wildfires around Southern California. They're in and around Los Angeles and for what I hear, that's usually where they stay. Right now there are some in Yorba Linda, which is 20 minutes north of here and in Corona which is in the mountains that I see out my bedroom window. I was at the foot of those mountains when I went to see my brother a few weeks ago. The Santa Ana winds that we've had for 2 days is feeding the fires to the point that fire has consumed 2000 acres in those areas.
This is the view from our window at the end of the hall

Taken 45 minutes later

Out the back of the motherhouse... these pictures were taken on the balcony:


Please pray for all the people in these areas, and pray that it doesn't come closer!
LA Fires
Yorba Linda Fires

Happy World Record Week!!

So I found on Yahoo that this week is World Record week and to celebrate, some world record holders went to New York for a ceremony. This ceremony included a woman who's legs alone are 4 1/2 feet long! You can search yahoo's news if you're curious.

Since my finding out about this, there's been two experiences here that I would put on that World Record list myself. First, Southern Californian (including the Orange CSJs and us) participated in the largest US earthquake drill this morning. It was supposed to happen around the area at 10am but instead happened at 9:30 to the surprise of many... including me! There were faked injuries, triage area, and a makeshift command post. I think it was a good thing to get the snags out before a real one could happen. In fact, many sister before my coming out to California said, "Hey Jenn, I hope that California doesn't fall into the ocean while you're there." Thanks to all who offer those well wishes but so far, so good. One day at a time and today was NOT the day that we fell into the ocean! HOORAY!

Second on the list of our own personal world records this week was our class yesterday which was turned into our monthly house meeting time. Oh no, but this wasn't just ANY house meeting. When all was said and done, we recorded a time of 6 HOURS!!! Who ever heard of a 6 hour house meeting? We all survived that as well and everything that needed talking about was acheived. Hopefully there's no reason to break the record next month!

For anyone else who experienced a World Record Event this week, I'm sorry you weren't invited to the ceremony in New York but feel free to share with me!

In other news...
I realized that I haven't updated since Halloween. It was a festive and fun evening. Ann and Bernie provided a black and orange themed dinner. Ann's friend Mary, from Wichita, joined us for the party. We shared a Halloween prayer which members of my congregation sent our way. Then those who had costumes dressed up. You can see the pictures below. We played Halloween pictionary and jeopardy which was provided by Melissa and ended the evening watching scary movies together. It was a great community night together.


We celebrated Ann's Birthday a few days later:


We spent Sunday (11/2) in LA before our ICN class at Carondelet on Monday. We visited the Getty Museum which is just a gorgeous place! It's located on a hill just west of the hill that Carondelet is on. The buildings are all separate at the Getty and each has different artwork in it but you walk outside to get from building to building. They're also known for their sculpture and landscape but in my heart, it's known for it's view!


Lynn Levo (CSJ Carondelet-Albany) was with us last week for that ICN class in LA and our own classes Tuesday and Wednesday. I had heard her speak before in Villa Maria, PA but this time I heard her talk on "Intimacy and Sexuality" completely different. I'm sure many of you have heard Lynn speak before and maybe on this topic. Usually when folks outside religious life hear about this topic their one eyebrow goes sky-high. When we talk about the vow of chastity, non-religious always think of the can'ts and don'ts of this vow. Really this vow is one about relationship. Lynn helped us to realize that all the energy inside of us, all the trials of life and our prayer life... each of these should be sending us out into relationship with one another. Our vow in religious life allows us to have deep relationships with everyone without distinction, but they aren't meant to be exclusive in nature. It struck me while she was presenting how much our media has changed the definition of the word "intimacy". Intimacy really means being vulnerable with another person and allowing a deep sharing between each other. So I can be in a relationship with many people: friends, co-workers, family, community members but there's going to be different levels of conversation with each person, different levels of intimacy. Lynn's classes are always helpful no matter how many times they're heard because she always comes with the encouragement to be a healthier person who has healthy relationships.

At our house meeting we discussed a bit about the mid-year assessment that we have to (get to) complete. It will end up being a paper that needs to cover topics such as: Self, Prayer, Community, Ministry, Classes, etc. and about how we've seen growth or movement in these categories. Also we talked a bit about Thanksgiving. We won't be going home for Thanksgiving, instead we'll spend Wednesday night or Sunday afternoon of that week at Seal Beach where the Orange sisters have a beach house. It's the next best setting to being with family. My mom and dad can expect a phone call that day as my toes will be in the ocean! (Don't know that I'm going to get much further than that!) We'll all be heading home on December 10 for a Christmas break. Our home directors will be here for 3 days for meetings with us, Bernie, and Ann then we'll head to our respective homes. I'll be in Chicago the majority of the time between Dec. 10 and January 3 when we come back but will be able to go to the Detroit area for a few days to hang out with my family and friends! In some ways it seems like it's been like yesterday and in some ways it seems like it's been too long since I've been home! This weekend we're supposed to get to 90 degrees again, not what I'm used to for Christmas shopping!

Middle of My Work Day

Well, well, well... Thursday's usually the busiest day and it's almost half over. I always know that it's almost half over and that I'm going to have a great weekend when I get to this point of Thursday and my reflection paper from class is written and printed.

This week Anne Hennessey from the Orange congregation (but she lives in the San Fransisco area) joined us. Her expertise that was shared with us was on 17th century France and Jean Pierre Medaille. She helped us understand the atmosphere at the time a little more because since we don't know much biographical information about Medaille, we need to gain understanding about him from the culture itself. I always enjoy learning about the class systems and the inter-relatedness of all the royalty from the countries in Europe. Everyone was fighting for power and land and they all married each other's relatives to make alliances with each other. It just boggles my mind. The part that really gets me excited is when the women take charge like Elizabeth in England or Anne of Austria or even Marie de Medici. Such tough, confident women! Anyway, I think the thing that I'm left reflecting on is the charism of reconciliation that was so much needed back then because of the cloud of death and depravity that was over France and how much we're in need of those reconciling attitudes today because our American society is in the same boat these days... everyone living in fear and so many living from paycheck to paycheck. It give me a lot to think about and strikes me with the need to pray for courage to have the attitude with the people I encounter while I'm out here.

We've been watching the World Series every night out here and that came to a celebratory end last night. We have two novices from Philly here so it gave us some incentive to watch, in addition to the love for the game itself. Now that those parties are over with, we're looking forward to a Halloween party tomorrow night after our prayer day. Karen and I rented some scary Halloween movies to watch that night after dinner so we can all be scared and have nightmares together!!! EKKK!! Also, so many people from the wonderful Congregation of St Joseph graciously contributed to our festivities with care packages and decorations!!I think we'll have a great evening!

We'll be going to the LA Carondelet center after touring LA on Sunday. Lynn Levo (Albany) will be at our ICN gathering on Monday and she'll be presenting at the LA center for us. She'll be talking about friendship with the ICN folks and will come back to Orange with us to speak about Intimacy and Sexuality on Tuesday and Wednesday. But before that, there's the need to celebrate the birth of Ann Letourneau on Monday night with pizza, prayer and other goodies! Happy Birthday ANN!!

So I guess it's safe to say that I'm in good space and looking forward to this next week. Picture will be posted soon.
Love to all and thanks for the prayers (and care packages to those who sent them!)

Oliver, Otis and Other Things

So you may have seen the pictures of Oliver and Otis yesterday and much has happened since then but before I move forward, I think I have to go backwards. On Monday with the Intercommunity Novitate folks, we went to San Juan Capistrano to do something more social as a group. It was a good, hot and sunny day to spend outdoors. We arrived there about 9AM and went to some touristy places before having to gather at 10. At 10, we met up with our two tour gudies and they explained the history of the mission and what it's function was. The tour was about 2 hours and afterward we stayed around and ate the lunches that we brought together.

Anyone that knows me well knows that I love butterflies and they have been a great symbol for me since entering two years ago when Gert Maurer gave me a monarch caterpillar as a gift. I had Ernie for about 3-4 weeks as he went through the transformation process of becoming a butterfly. At San Juan Capistrano, I was kind of distracted because there were so many Monarchs flying around and craving my attention as they landed on different flower and flew around my head. There was a flowering milkweed plant that was low to the ground inside the mission grounds near the bells and there had to be about 15 or so caterpillars on this plant. By the end of the day, I decided that I needed a souvenior and this is one that could pray with and would speak to me deeply with all of the symbolism. So that's the story of how I got Oliver and Otis. Usually you can't tell the sex of a caterpillar, you have to wait until it becomes a butterfly so their names may have to change by the end of this process.

On Monday evening, I was afraid for them because the milkweed that they were on was wilting and they couldn't eat it any longer. At dinner with all of the motherhouse sisters, I was asking many of them if they knew where I could find milkweed because from the internet I knew that milkweed in California didn't look like the milkweed that I'd grown used to seeing in Michigan. Tuesday on our lunch break, I decided to go to 2 parks that I'd found in the area from the internet and thought that they might have milkweed. I wandered through the parks for about an hour with no luck. I had twenty minutes until I had to be back to the motherhouse and it was a 16 minute drive back. I was supposed to turn right but I knew that God was telling me to turn left. I did and there on the right was a park and in the back of the parking lot was a building that said "Parks Office". I went inside and there were two park rangers. The one took me to the state park where he had his office and was going to give me seeds but when he found out that the need was sooner, he ripped 3 plants out of the ground and sent me on my way. It wasn't the kind of plant that I would have been looking for so I'm sure glad that God directed me to their expertise.

In the afternoon yesterday Oliver and Otis started to hang from the milkweed plant and I realized that they were going to start to form their chrysalis even sooner than I had expected. Otis you'll see in the pictures is already in the comfort of his chrysalis and Oliver is still trying to figure out how this process goes. I'm kind of worried about him because he hasn't moved in quite a while and is slower about this process than Otis was. I hope he's okay. I'll keep you updated on their progress. They still have 9-14 days to become butterflies though.


Onto other news. Last week Monday, we had Jane DiLisle from Orange with us at our ICN meeting. This was the first part of our program on the Enneagram. She introduced us to all the personality types so that we could try and decided what our motivations are and what the motivation of others is. I think the whole day was full of great material because we were able to see how and why we react to certain things the way we do and how others react as well. I think it helps build community and get along with people too because you can embrace each others strengths and weaknesses. Next Monday, Jane will be with us again for Part 2 and she'll be talking about how the different personality types relate to different prayer styles. I'm looking forward to that. For those of you that are familiar with the Enneagram... any idea what number I am? Ann and I have figured it out and I'm still feeling it out to see if it's a fit.

For the past two days, Pat Byrne from Baden, PA has been with us to talk about the Primitive documents. I wasn't so much of a history buff in school so I wasn't sure what to expect for this class. I think it definitely helps to have the background that Pat has because it gives an appreciation of the strruggle and joy that was involved in making this place available for me as a home. We spent time with the Reglements and the Eucharistic Letter as well as the first Constitution written by Fr. Medaille. I won't get into these classes too much or any in the future because I know that each of our home novice directors are supposed to email our communities about the content of our classes here. I will share something that struck me the most. It happened at the end while we were talking about the Eucharistic letter. We were learning about how the letter states that our whole congregation and it's design is based on the Eucharist itself. I hadn't ever really thought about this before but it has given me a greater understanding and appreciatation for the scarament. Our congregation wasn't recognized as a civil body in the beginning because we weren't like any religious order that already existed. We weren't monastic and we didn't have the monastery walls. We weren't recognized and we had no example to build ourselves off of. We had to completely give up any preconceived idea of religious life so that God could make of us whatever God intended. While Jesus was on Earth no one could understand or see that he was divine. He lived a hiddenness because no one had encountered anyone like Jesus, both human and divine. We began in that hiddenness as well. No religious order was able to be on the streets and work as we did during that time and so we lived out our call in the hiddenness that Jesus experienced as well. It seems today that we are living the same way. I've experienced this quite a bit. People wonder why I'm entering a religious order when they don't see outward signs like they're used to. Society is used to sisters being in habits, teaching in schools and being in hospitals. Then they see me in jeans or shorts and a tshirt, taking two years away from work to "play" in California, being interested in technolgy and sports and expect me to be completely shut off from society. There is still that hiddenness today and as the sisters in 1650 were called to redefined religious life, I think that is the challenge that we face again today.

We're finishing out the week with ministry today and prayer day tomorrow. My brother is coming out to California this week for a softball tournament so I'm hoping that I have some time to go visit. If I'm lucky, maybe I'll get some news as to the names that they're thinking about for my nephew who will appear in February.

Evening edition:
RIP Oliver... Oliver was buried at 8:26 this evening without fully realizing his beauty on this Earth. What a sad, sad way to end the evening!

Meet Oliver and Otis

Here's pictures of the two souvenirs I got from San Juan Capistrano yesterday. I'll write the story tomorrow but I wanted to get the pictures up!


Oliver


Otis